Saturday, March 8, 2008


I went out awhile ago
wearing a girly top
that only my mom
can appreciate as fashionable.

She 'dresses' me,
i admit i have no
fashion sense whatsoever
and my mom buys me clothes.

I went out to buy some chips
and my late lunch -
lunner actually.

I had to walk around 4 blocks
along the main road to purchase
that damned chips from mercury drug
and walk 2 more to get
to 7-11 for my dose of oversteamed
hotdogs + soggy buns.

i dont look normal,
i am half-white
but since i rarely go out
i look foreign enough
for strangers to attempt
to converse with me
in english all the time.

Some instances. . .

"Hey Joe!"
Dude! Clearly from my boobs,
im all girl up here and down there.

"Hello! Hello! Hello!"
Am i listening to a recording?
Are you an answering machine?

"Would you like po uhm to dagdag,
err add sundae to your eh order?"
My answer? Sige, isang hot fudge.
Cashier lady - stunned.

Ive encountered people
trying to translate
into comprehensible english
the names of their wares.

Mani - penat
Mais - kurn
Basahan - tawel
Saging - beynahnah

Sometimes, i dont wanna disappoint
them i just pretend that i am
a foreigner, illiterate of tagalog

But when im exasperated
and in a hurry
I just smile and speak
in tagalog to disarm them
and save them from further embarassment.

Being eurasian has its perks
and its downsides.
I hate being stared at.

Staring is impolite,
its embarassing enough
that one sticks out
among the crowd, unable
to blend in no matter what.

But it is also another thing
to dress/act different
to stand out...
Remember just because
your unique it doesnt mean
your useful (read it somewhere)

So there i was buying
my fucking chips
and my lame lunner
people staring at me
like im a lost american commando
from the balikatan exercises.

I can feel their piercing
stares at my nape,
beggars flock to me
like im a walking atm
(i want to make them understand
that white skin is not
equated to a walking wallet)

Strangers look at me from head to toe
and sometimes point at me like
im contagious or something.

i get tired too of being different.
i wonder about people who are
indeed different...

the wandering taong grasas
who dont care whether they
are seen or not.

the flamboyant gays
who dress to kill

the emo kids
who think theyre cool
but end up looking
like the taong grasas only worse

the young gro's
flaunting their 'flesh'
and hiding at the same time

people with visible illnesses -

people with extreme
physical attributes -
dark skinned
too fat
too thin

all of us
are disabled in a way
some disabilities can be visibly seen
others take a little sniffing
and digging around to discover
but still a disability nonetheless.

Sometimes i just want to scream
at people. . .
Stop staring!
Do Y0U want to be stared at?
Move on people theres nothing
unusual to see, i am just
like you!

I am just like you . . .


  1. Now you know how it's like to be a celebrity.."kutis artista"
    ..I bet you're pretty that's why you're intimidating..a head-turner!girl u got the lime light spotted on you everywhere you go!
    HAHA!Just enjoy!!

  2. moon:
    au contraire mademoiselle, im just white nothing more (wait plus a large built).

    ang kutis artista na alaga sa papaya ay sinasamba sa bansang ito, kung nasa ibang lugar ako, tae lang ako.

    exotic talaga pag kakaiba...the grass is always greener on the other side hmmm...

  3. that's pinoy ideology.
    basta nedyo out fo the ordinary, piay,bulag,itim,puti,panget,maganda,pandak,matangkad,litaw boobs,kita pwet... titingnan o titigan ka....

    you have an interesting blog. care to exchange links?

  4. bk, all this time i thought you were a boy. peace po

    hehehe. yun pala isa kang chix na headturner.
    anyways, di ako gaano makarelate kasi hindi naman ako eurasian. at hindi din ako headturner.

    pero ok lang yan. u'll get used to it.
    mga pinoy, ganyan talaga, makakita ng ibang kulay akala "porenjer" na.
    lam mo yun, iba kasi ang kulay sa iba. lam mo hinihintay nila? yung pagsasalita mo, tapos yung may accent, err.

    ingat ka na lang po palagi.


  5. desperate blogger:
    sure! add kita wee!

    nangingibabaw ang male hormones ko hahaha. minsan nagawa ko na ding magbrit accent susubukan ko naman next time na magjapanese hahaha

  6. HAHAHAHA1!!!you're killing me softly again american commando..i would laugh out loud that even my daughter got curious what am i reading infront of the pc.
    rude minsan ang mga pinoy, tiger look daw yun sabi ng singaporean.
    sinama ako ng husband ko sa wine tasting at puro may pinag-aralan lahat ng andun,16-20 lang ang guest.meron isang malapit ng mag senior citizen na nagtatanong ng rude questions sa isang guest na foreigner at retired na but businessman na ngayon.ang mga tanong about retirement at ang personal na buhay ng foreigner(di sila close at nun lang sila nagkita),gusto ko sanang magsalita pero masasaktan ang damdamin ng katabi ko na matandang makulit.ang sasabihin ko lang naman,it's good for you to retire early and enjoy your retirement benefits rather take it later wherein all your retirement will go to hospital bills.kasi si matandang makulit di pa raw siya nagreretire at di naman daw siya greedy.
    ang haba ng comment ko,hahaha at nagshare pa ang lola mo

  7. te russel:
    tumpak ka dun! kanya kanyang diskarte sa buhay, walang pakialaman dapat!

    gagamitin ko na yang tiger look ngayon mwahahaha roooaaar!


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