The loner in me

February 22, 2007

The loner in me

Then...

My blockmates voted me as
miss special child of the class
heck i remember i even voted
for myself that time.

Nobody talked to me
except terence, badj and
sometimes rodolfo
I was content to mumble
my thoughts and opinions to myself
and I did not care if nobody cared
I shuffled along
did my job
and just disappeared.

Now...

I feel abused, at times
I do not like to be
noticed...
touched...
talked to...
I want to disappear.
I do not want to be compelled to help
to be told what to do
to be asked favors
to feel obligated
I hate it
when im abused.

Even small favors irk me
i rarely ask favors
i dont want to be burdened
with anybodys inconsequential problem
and those issues include (and are not
limited to) the following:

1. Borrowing my charger so that you could recharge your crappy mobile at my home on my mother's paychecks' expense. When your battery's drained thats it, technology did not aim it to be perpetually charged, dont burden me with your issues just because some stupid idiot is texting you icky lusty messages! Its not a matter of life and death.
   
2. Asking me for spare change so that you do not have to go back to wherever hell you left your money at which inevitably rob me of my already meager purchasing power and the fact that you always forget to pay me back.
   
3. Inviting yourself at my home when you are uninvited when im clearly sending out signals that i would like to hibernate, duh! lights closed! closed door! menacing welcome towards guest! me, washing dishes! those are clues damnnit!
   
4. Giving me excuses for the lies you have complicated yourself with. i do not want to hear your pitiful lifestory, i am neither a writer nor a producer spare me the tears and the disgust, my forgetful brain could only tolerate so much.
   
5. I do not want to be asked questions to which i have already replied about a gazillion times, my yes will forever be yes and my no is no until hell freezes over. what part of yes or no dont you imbeciles understand?
6. i dont like people who text me with infuriating questions to which the same situation above applies. its delivery doesnt change the content, whether it be thru email, verbal, smoke signals or text, my answers are final.
7. i am infuriated with people who try to strike a conversation with me whilst i am actively listening to a discussion. Fuck it! dont you have ears! Stuff your mouth with it. Ignorance is communicable and i dont want to be infected with your disease. if youve got nothing good to say - shut it! Your opinions alone wont save the planet from its destined destruction!
8. Do not ever use my being as an excuse for any gallybanting (spelling?) expedition of yours. I am not responsible for your body being disfigured, crushed to death, maimed or whatever mutilation or mishap - a pregnancy, your truancy brings. I am not your kindred nor your friend, you just think i am but realize that i am not the angel that you purport me to be.
9. Do not mesmerize me with your profound conclusions, i am accustomed to brilliance in UP and i know this crappy school cannot compete to within several trillion miles of it. Dont bother me with your so called excellence, i am not selfish to praises when genuises are at hand.
10. Be a sensitive a-hole because we are all sensitive a-holes, would you like me to be an insensitive a-hole to you? would you rather have me as the insensitive a-hole than you friendly next-door sensitive a-hole?