Calendar Girl

Around 6 of my friends/acquaintances
have gotten married just this month.

And thankfully only 1 of them
was actually pregnant.
They all had long engagements prior
to the event.

Sheeesh, fate is rubbing salt to my wounds.
Thank you for reminding me that my
biological clock is hastening to its doom.

I am happy for them, I truly am.

For a woman I think, nothing
is more flattering than having a man
profess his devotion and offer his entirety to you.

His mind, soul, heart.
His past, present and future.
The goodness in him, the evil
and the gray state in between.

For some it was a long wait for the 'right' one.
For others, the choice was by chance or
perhaps by circumstances.

Back in highschool, I kept telling everybody
that I would not be getting married,
somehow it is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, ugh.

I am now engaged only virtually to my partner
in crime of 9 years.
A perpetual state.

I was watching PBB earlier,
(there is nothing but TFC here)
There was this one guy who always
tried to hold this particular girls hand.
And what's most dear about it is
that they even tried to hide it
from their housemates -
holding hands behind a friends back,
holding hands underneath a pillow,
touching hands while innocently doing
another activity.

Ah youth, you magnify my loneliness
in this infernal place.

Where back home I am free, out here
I am caged - bound and gagged.

There is no happiness where one's basic liberties are shackled.

The simple interlacing of our fingers,
the lightest touch of his hand,
his embrace cocoons me from the terrifying
reality of everyday life.
He is my assurance.

Lord grant me sanity,
this place is getting to me.
Lord, grant me sanity,
this place is getting to me.

Something Fishy

(Image Source)

After our PDOS my batchmates 

and I ate lunch at KFC and

went to Quiapo to shop for 

abayas and tarhas.

After purchasing we parted ways

and I went back to Quirino Ave

for my bus ride home.

It was so uncomfortable

because the local bus companies

tend to pack us passengers like sardines,

dangerously overloading the bus.

Imagine if the bus had to brake suddenly

everybody standing would fly

straight out of the windshield.

So going back,

I had a major headache

because the weather was really 

awry -  very sunny one minute

and then rain afterwards.

I rarely get headaches

but it is unbearable

when I do I have them :(

I stopped by at Mcdo

to buy some junk food dinner

and saw a uhm

friend?

acquaintance?

I do not know where to qualify him.

He is nice and all,

very chatty and brutally frank.

But...

He would always start the conversation

with a polite how-are-you first

and then

ask about my love life the next.

Parang ganito...

"Kayo pa rin ba ng boyfriend mo?"

"Uhm oo."

"Ang tagal niyo na no?"

or

"Balita ko wala na kayo ng jowa mo?"

(or something along those lines)

I know he is gay and all,

pero sana wag naman obvious.

Kasi hindi ako comfortable sa

ganong pagtatanong.

I mean alam ko may mga masasamang balitang

sumisingaw pero sana hindi

sa relasyon ko magfocus.

Sobrang uncomfortable ang ganitong

scenario sa akin.

Pakiramdam ko kasi may hidden something 

siya para kay hubby.

Hay, ano ba ang dapat kong 

isagot o gawin?