Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Modern Slave.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Gift
This was my gift to myself last year.
A Kindle.
Bought with the wages I earned.
So much misery and so much tears.
May I have the patience to continue.
I am irked with my coworkers more than our patients.
Somebody told me that it will almost certainly be your kabayan who will be the constant source of one's headache.
Tried not to think about it but the more I am realizing that it is true.
Crab mentality affects not only Filipinos but its particularly more evident with Pinoys.
I am guilty.
I am stubborn.
But now I am learning to keep my volcano of a temper really really dormant and I try to avoid making comments on stuff I am not involved in.
Ode to self:
Keep mouth shut always.
The better person is the one who walks away calm and collected.
Some secrets need to be buried deep, marianas trench deep, never to be mentioned to any soul alive - human or crustacean.
There is always a time for everything, including landian and chikahan.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Calendar Girl
have gotten married just this month.
And thankfully only 1 of them
was actually pregnant.
They all had long engagements prior
to the event.
Sheeesh, fate is rubbing salt to my wounds.
Thank you for reminding me that my
biological clock is hastening to its doom.
I am happy for them, I truly am.
For a woman I think, nothing
is more flattering than having a man
profess his devotion and offer his entirety to you.
His mind, soul, heart.
His past, present and future.
The goodness in him, the evil
and the gray state in between.
For some it was a long wait for the 'right' one.
For others, the choice was by chance or
perhaps by circumstances.
Back in highschool, I kept telling everybody
that I would not be getting married,
somehow it is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, ugh.
I am now engaged only virtually to my partner
in crime of 9 years.
A perpetual state.
I was watching PBB earlier,
(there is nothing but TFC here)
There was this one guy who always
tried to hold this particular girls hand.
And what's most dear about it is
that they even tried to hide it
from their housemates -
holding hands behind a friends back,
holding hands underneath a pillow,
touching hands while innocently doing
another activity.
Ah youth, you magnify my loneliness
in this infernal place.
Where back home I am free, out here
I am caged - bound and gagged.
There is no happiness where one's basic liberties are shackled.
The simple interlacing of our fingers,
the lightest touch of his hand,
his embrace cocoons me from the terrifying
reality of everyday life.
He is my assurance.
Lord grant me sanity,
this place is getting to me.
Lord, grant me sanity,
this place is getting to me.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Moaning
moaningpresent participle of moan (Verb)This is google's definition of moaning;
Verb:
- Make a long, low sound expressing physical or mental suffering or sexual pleasure.
- (of a thing) Make a sound resembling this: "the foghorn moaned at intervals".
for more than two months now,
I have heard nothing but bitter
and tearful moans.
Though I moan too at times
especially when the workload
and the stress all pile up but unlike
most people I tend to keep most
of the frustration inside.
I prefer visualizing the rainbow at
the end of the rain shower or
the silver lining in the clouds.
Being positive helps especially
in our solitude.
We have nobody else to turn to
(aside from the guy upstairs who
hears our lamentations and ourselves).
Nakakahawa ang pessimism, at
oo, mahirap ang bawat araw dito
pero why don't we all just try
to cope and learn to move on.
Yes, there are days when I wish
I could wake up in my own bed
at home or never wake up at all
pero the reality is, this depressing
state is a sacrifice that we all
knew we would have to bear and surpass.
We made this decision
and so we must adjust.
Magaling ang Pinoy dito
kaya kakayanin natin ito.
Fingers-crossed.
Monday, February 6, 2012
I am alive !
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
PDOS
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Timeline
December 16 - Orientation and final pregnancy test
*December 18 - Tentative flight date.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
2012 Official List of Pinoy Holidays
| A. Regular Holidays | ||
| New Year’s Day Maundy Thursday Good Friday Araw ng Kagitingan | January 1 (Sunday) April 5 April 6 April 9 (Monday) | |
| Labor Day Independence Day National Heroes Day Bonifacio Day Christmas Day Rizal Day | May 1 (Tuesday) June 12 (Tuesday) August 27 (Last Monday of August) November 30 (Friday) December 25 (Tuesday) December 30 (Sunday) |
| B. Special (Non-Working) Days | ||
| Chinese New Year Ninoy Aquino Day All Saints Day Additional special (non-working) day Last Day of the Year | January 23 (Monday) August 21 (Tuesday) November 1 (Thursday) November 2 (Friday) December 31 (Monday | |
| C. Special Holiday (for all schools) | ||
| EDSA Revolution Anniversary | February 25 (Saturday) | |
Monday, November 21, 2011
Ang Computation
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Voucher
Friday, November 11, 2011
Poor Patient Compliance
The last straw was when she admitted
she was smoking a few hours
prior to her admission -
she was already smoking
when she was in the early
stages of her labor!
Ang sarap sakalin!
Grabe!
No concern for her welfare
nor her unborn child!
Walang kwentang ina!
When her placenta came out
instead of the usual
one big mass of human organ,
it came out in pieces.
Her placenta's tissue integrity
was already compromised
from the beginning.
Not all the placental fragments came out
some adhered to her uterus
which made her bleed.
The institution has no resident doctors
on duty just on call.
My friend was not able to get
hold of any of the 5 doctors
save for one.
I could just imagine what my friend went through,
that situation was a nightmare.
Good thing the doctor was
able to relay her orders over the phone
in the wee hours of the morning.
The patient was technically in shock,
her BP was around 60/40 mmHg.
My friend hooked a double line
and a volume expander.
She managed her patient well
and I commend her
she saved this woman's life
from her own stupidity.
Her stubbornness and non-compliance
to health related advice put
her life as well as her baby's
in jeopardy as well
as the license of my friend.
Lagi na lang walang pera ang rason,
madali yan huwag kang bumili ng pangbisyo
at magipon ka kahit lima-limang piso
araw-araw para sa panganganak.
Hindi emergency ang pagbubuntis,
siyam na buwan ito.
Imagine ang city namin na walang income,
nililibre pa sila sa gastusin ng pangangak,
libre ang gamit at serbisyo.
Compliance na nga lang ang hinihingi,
na dumating sa appointed dates
ng prenatal check-up
at mapalaboratoryo ng libre,
hindi pa din nagawa.
Aba e kung wala ka din naman palang
concern sa pangangatawan mo
at pagbubuntis e di sana
hindi na lang siya nag-anak.
Dapat talaga ipasa na yang
RH Bill para maliwanagan
ang mga mangmang.
(sorry sa harsh word pero totoo ito)
Hindi na nga sila nakapag-aral
sa dami nila hindi din nila mapapag-aral ang anak nila.
Obligasyon ng bawat magulang na magbigay
ng maayos na kalidad ng buhay at edukasyon
sa mga anak nila hindi yung
pagtatrabahuin sila at gawing gatasan
kasi tamad na sila magtrabaho.
Sus! Ad misericordiam lagi,
paawa effect!
Hindi sa lahat ng oras maisasalba
ng awa at ng Dios ang buhay mo.
Kailangan kumilos ka rin bilang tao.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Visa
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Duty Woes
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
RLE
were I learned most of my OB experience.
Nice to be back,
although some were really uncomfortable seeing me.
I just want to refresh my skills,
I am still a volunteer,
although my chief nurse asked me
to pass my resume to the acting
city health officer,
I told her the truth that I was processing
my application for Al Kharj Military Hospital.
I got to administer medication through IM
once again, cannot wait to work in the DR again.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Applying
| http://www.workabroad.ph/ |
Already had my resume posted at the workabroad site.
I was updating my profile and trying my luck
OB/DR/GYNE/Labor tags in it.
I also had a daily subscription to jobstreet
And that is where Arjoy's found my resume methinks.
| http://www.jobstreet.com.ph/ |
become a secondary hospital
'connections' to the mayor
about them hiring me even if they told me
I was the best candidate.
worked hard and expected
would put in a 'good word'
government bureaucracy.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Aargh!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
i hate you
- work pressure
- a-hole workmates
- more a-hole workmates
- dumbfucks who stare
- people who get cosy and touchy-touchy
- people who bring rascal kids to the mall.
- i hate everyone
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Blessings
the new "casual" midwife,
implanted by the mayor
decided to celebrate her first salary
by cooking kare-kare for everybody.
and because, for the life of me,
i cannot really swallow all the bullshit
that she is putting out and because
of my stupid pride and because i know
i should have had her coveted "item"
as a paid government employee,
i walked out and went home.
i made excuses that i did not eat
that particular viand and claimed that
i am off meat products but really...
di ko masikmura ang pagpapakain niya
bilang simbulo ng tagumpay niya.
i knew that if i ate her kare, it would be
like acknowledging that yes i am a puny
pawn - kinain ang sarili niyang pride.
kahit magutom ako dun
at least di ko kinain principles ko.
if kahit konting katiting na delikadesa at goodness
may natitira pa sa corrupt na gobyernong ito
please lord show it to me...
when i came back,
everybody sensed it,
they kept on asking me
bakit di ako kumain,
i was an automaton on replay
"di po ako nakain ng karne
at di po ako nakain ng kare unless luto
ng lola ko na unfortunately ay deads na"
but we all knew why...
and then my chief nurse told me
"hayaan mo anak pag nanalo si
*insert mayor's name here*
ako mismo magbaback-up sayo
at ipapalipat ko sila"
i almost cried
kunyari nagbabasa ako ng diyaryo
at ngumingiti pero di ko na
talaga mabasa yung nakasulat
dahil pinipigilan kong umiyak.
i deserve it,
volunteer for 2 years,
most recommended and trusted,
and then dahil lang sa pulitika
wala na...
i went home, changed clothes,
went to the post office to drop
some mail and while riding the jeep
i saw this boy na may cerebral palsy.
tumigil yung dyip sa kanto kung saan
siya nakatayo at binigyan siya ng driver ng barya.
i recognized him kasi, we gave him some food
the past month kasi sabi nung isa na mabait siya
at hindi makulit kung manglimos di tulad nung
mga pesteng mini-lupin na mga bata sa kalsada.
going back...
natandaan ko siya kasi nakain kami
dati ng merienda sa mini stop
at dahil transparent ang windows
nagpeople watching kami,
nakita ko siya na hirap na kumikilos,
tumabi siya sa mga trisikel driver,
nilabas yung mumurahing mga hopia na
baon niya at inalok lahat yung nakatambay.
sobrang natunaw ako sa ginawa
niya kasi mas kailangan niya yung food
tapos inalok pa sa iba so i decided
to buy some kariman for him
and asked my kasama to give it to him
kasi baka mailang sa kulay ko.
tapos eto ulit nakita ko siya sa kanto,
kung abutan siya ok lang,
kung wala kang barya ok lang din.
yung inabot ng jeepney driver
sa kaniya nilagay niya agad sa maliit na pouch
and he gave everybody this smile
na alam mong sincere.
it took me all my strength to stop
bawling and crying my eyes out
on the jeepney.
putang-ina!
who am i to complain?!!!!
this boy has to live with cerebral palsy
all his life, he cant go to a normal
school, cant move freely as other kids,
he gets teased for being different,
malamang hindi pa nga siya napasok sa school
tapos eto ako reklamo ng reklamo,
napakawala kong kwenta.
pagkatapak ko sa bahay,
umiyak ako.
inayakan ko yung bata pati
yung katangahan kong magreklamo
pati na rin yung frustration ko sa buhay.
God bless that kid and keep him safe.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Mad & mad
and i am mad - crazy mad.
I now have lost all
my dedication and passion to work.
It seems that the primary level
institution where i volunteer, it being
a microcosm representative of the
nation and its citizens as well,
has proven itself riddled with
all the evil traits of Filipinos.
nepotism
corruption
padrino system
goons, guns, and gold.
politics.
do you know what i feel?
every time i step into the building...
its as if my chest just got hit
by a monster truck and buried
under a mountain of boulders
and rubble.
the death of my enthusiasm...
i still care for the patients with a smile
i still give them my best,
i do not let workplace politics affect the
quality of my service towards my patients.
but i cant stand it anymore,
i am not happy.
just let me rant...
it will all go away soon.
my mind and my soul has begun
the process of numbing yet again.
is there no justice in this nation anymore?
bakit pa ba ako nag-aral ng maigi
kung di din pala ako makakakuha ng trabaho.
leche!
sana nag-invest na lang ako
sa pagpapa-lipo at make-up lessons
at baka may napala pa ako.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Sabbatical
sabbatical from work.
It was unplanned, I
did not even ask for permission,
I just disappeared.
They are not paying me anyway,
I volunteer my services.
I even waste my allowance
at the institution at times.
I do get compensated in
trickles and foodstuff
but really nothing compares to a salary
especially when the whole world
is going into a financial depression.
So I just woke up and said
Fuck it! I wanna stay in bed
and download pirated stuff.
And that's what exactly I did.
I need a break from the
routine and stress;
it seems to me that the paid people
are doing less and less of
their responsibilities
and have come to rely on
us volunteers so much that
they can't accomplish stuff
by themselves on a simple work day.
Aside from that
our community nearly burned down.
The other week, i was shocked to find
my uncle on my door telling me
that there was a fire nearby and not
to get anxious.
Unfortunately that made me more anxious.
As usual i was sleeping, I wanted to slap
myself silly for taking naps on unholy hours
and for that I might have been barbecued to
death with my hamster.
Lady luck smiled on me
because the fire was controlled
by a barrage of firemen from
all over Cavite and Manila.
Yep, it was that bad, our
very own firetruck lasted only
a few minutes before running out of water.
It was chaos!
People were congregating on
the fire vicinity to ogle and
you know - steal stuff.
I also managed to pack my
garbage of belongings into several packs
(up to now they are still packed)
It seems that the fire was caused
by candles.
Fucking candles? At 1pm?
Noontime when the sun was blazing?
Who the hell wanted candles
when the sun was blinding?
Those a-hole drug addicts,
that's why. They should have burned
as well.
The community that was affected
were mostly shanty houses, homes
made of cardboard, rooftops and
what nots.
And now, my hoarded garbage stuff
are being recycled elsewhere.
I am giving some of my stuff away.
Less clutter in my life
and somehow I will be able to
see where I really am.




