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Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Modern Slave.

Well, well, well.
Kain, tulog, work lang ang
buhay dito.

Naging bobo ako dito.
Bumalik sa pre-school
ang level ng Ingles
at nawala na din ata ang
lahat ng napagaralan ko.

Natuto na ako magmura
ng harap-harapan.
Magdabog ng walang pakialam.
At nawala na ng tuluyan ang aking pasensiya.

Ibang klase ang buhay dito.
Kapalit ng sweldo mo talaga
ang halos na nakaluhod na
pagsilbi sa mga nilalang dito.

Hindi ko sila matawag na tao.
Beings oo pero hindi sila sentient.

Manhid sila, hindi kami tao sa kanila.
Siguro nga aso ang tingin nila sa amin,
kapareho lang ng tingin namin sa kanila.

11 kaming dumating dito.
Yung isa napauwi ng mas maaga,
the rest hindi na magrerecontract
at ako na lang ang matitira
dahil aminado ako...

desperado ako sa pera.

Walang pera sa Pilipinas
at wala din akong makukuhang
certificate sa Pilipinas.

Yung 3 taong pagvolunteer ko.
Hindi ko magagamit, bale wala.
Nagamit din lang ako.

Thankful na din in a way kasi
dahil sa pagvolunteer na iyon.
Naandito na ako.


Maganda lang ang accomodation namin
kasi mga puti ang dating nakatira dito.
Maayos siguro ito dati kasi nga
Westeners ang nagsimula ng lahat,
pero ng umalis na sila.
Wala na, bumalik sa pagiging
primitibo ang lahat.




Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Gift

This was my gift to myself last year.
A Kindle.
Bought with the wages I earned.

So much misery and so much tears.

May I have the patience to continue.

I am irked with my coworkers more than our patients.

Somebody told me that it will almost certainly be your kabayan who will be the constant source of  one's headache.

Tried not to think about it but the more I am realizing that it is true.

Crab mentality affects not only Filipinos but its particularly more evident with Pinoys.

I am guilty.

I am stubborn.

But now I am learning to keep my volcano of a temper really really dormant and I try to avoid making comments on stuff I am not involved in.

Ode to self:
Keep mouth shut always.

The better person is the one who walks away calm and collected.

Some secrets need to be buried deep, marianas trench deep, never to be mentioned to any soul alive - human or crustacean.

There is always a time for everything, including landian and chikahan.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Calendar Girl

Around 6 of my friends/acquaintances
have gotten married just this month.

And thankfully only 1 of them
was actually pregnant.
They all had long engagements prior
to the event.

Sheeesh, fate is rubbing salt to my wounds.
Thank you for reminding me that my
biological clock is hastening to its doom.

I am happy for them, I truly am.

For a woman I think, nothing
is more flattering than having a man
profess his devotion and offer his entirety to you.

His mind, soul, heart.
His past, present and future.
The goodness in him, the evil
and the gray state in between.

For some it was a long wait for the 'right' one.
For others, the choice was by chance or
perhaps by circumstances.

Back in highschool, I kept telling everybody
that I would not be getting married,
somehow it is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, ugh.

I am now engaged only virtually to my partner
in crime of 9 years.
A perpetual state.

I was watching PBB earlier,
(there is nothing but TFC here)
There was this one guy who always
tried to hold this particular girls hand.
And what's most dear about it is
that they even tried to hide it
from their housemates -
holding hands behind a friends back,
holding hands underneath a pillow,
touching hands while innocently doing
another activity.

Ah youth, you magnify my loneliness
in this infernal place.

Where back home I am free, out here
I am caged - bound and gagged.

There is no happiness where one's basic liberties are shackled.

The simple interlacing of our fingers,
the lightest touch of his hand,
his embrace cocoons me from the terrifying
reality of everyday life.
He is my assurance.

Lord grant me sanity,
this place is getting to me.
Lord, grant me sanity,
this place is getting to me.


Saturday, February 25, 2012

Moaning


moaningpresent participle of moan (Verb)
Verb:
  1. Make a long, low sound expressing physical or mental suffering or sexual pleasure.
  2. (of a thing) Make a sound resembling this: "the foghorn moaned at intervals".

This is google's definition of moaning;
for more than two months now,
I have heard nothing but bitter
and tearful moans.

Though I moan too at times
especially when the workload
and the stress all pile up but unlike
most people I tend to keep most
of the frustration inside.

I prefer visualizing the rainbow at
the end of the rain shower or
the silver lining in the clouds.

Being positive helps especially
in our solitude.

We have nobody else to turn to
(aside from the guy upstairs who
hears our lamentations and ourselves).

Nakakahawa ang pessimism, at
oo, mahirap ang bawat araw dito
pero why don't we all just try
to cope and learn to move on.

Yes, there are days when I wish
I could wake up in my own bed
at home or never wake up at all
pero the reality is, this depressing
state is a sacrifice that we all
knew we would have to bear and surpass.

We made this decision
and so we must adjust.

Magaling ang Pinoy dito
kaya kakayanin natin ito.

Fingers-crossed.


Monday, February 6, 2012

I am alive !

Just a quick post...

I am still alive!

I am still adjusting with the workload as 
everything here is impractical.
Even the way they handle endorsements etc.

I bought my own laptop two days ago,
and also sent around half my money back home
to pay for the bills.

I now have more or less 150 rials
to survive till next salary.

I already had my groceries settled 
so I would not starve.


Wednesday, December 7, 2011

PDOS

I was hoping to learn something 
sensible during our PDOS,
but I guess we have to research
everything on the internet.

Wish they made a manual of the modules
as well as the pertinent contact numbers
instead of devoting around 1/3
of the time to private entities.

Of the private entities, 
one NGO was promising,
the rest were banks and money transfer services.

Sana man lang may leaflet ng contact numbers
na pwedeng tawagan kung may problema
o kaya a manual of what not to do
in your target country.

Hay buhay, palpak lahat.
Ginawa lang nila yung 
"pwede-na-yan" syndrome.

Paano na yung mga first timers na tulad ko?
Hindi ko first time sumakay ng eroplano
pero first time ko mangibang bansa
para sa kabuhayan ko.

Hay buhay talaga.


Eto yung certificate ko.
Nilagyan ko lang ng pusa.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Timeline

My timeline so far...

March something - applied online through jobstreet.

March 10 - the agency called me round dinnertime to
report the next day regarding my application.

March 11 - Went to the agency to pass my papers.

March14 - The qualifying exam was postponed and rescheduled.

March 15 - Exam was held at Sheraton Hotel.

March 17 - Interviewed at the Sheraton.

March 23 - Was told that I passed the interview.

March 24 - Went to my school and PRC to kick start the
authentication of my papers.

March 29 - Orientation held at agency.

March 31 - Got my COE at Manila City Hall.

April 1 - Received PRC authenticated papers.

April 5 - Went to the agency to update.

April 8 - Agency called to hasten my docu processing.

April 20 - Processed my NBI clearance at Monumento.

April 26 - Got my COE at DFA.

May 6 - Got my TOR at DFA and passed my papers at the agency.

May 25 - Agency called and informed me about our
physical/medical exam schedule.

May 31 - Had my GAMCA physical exam done 
at Bartolome's Clinic.

July 21 - Went to the agency for updates.

November 9 - Visa approved.

November 21 - Had my medical again.

November 22 - Passed my medical.

December 1 - Paid P60k for the fees.

December 6 - Schedule for PDOS

December 16 - Orientation and final pregnancy test

*December 18 - Tentative flight date.





Thursday, December 1, 2011

2012 Official List of Pinoy Holidays

The Proclamation is here

A. Regular Holidays
New Year’s Day
Maundy Thursday
Good Friday
Araw ng Kagitingan
January 1 (Sunday)
April 5
April 6
April 9 (Monday)
Labor Day
Independence Day
National Heroes Day
Bonifacio Day
Christmas Day
Rizal Day
May 1 (Tuesday)
June 12 (Tuesday)
August 27 (Last Monday of August)
November 30 (Friday)
December 25 (Tuesday)
December 30 (Sunday)


B. Special (Non-Working) Days
Chinese New Year
Ninoy Aquino Day
All Saints Day
Additional special (non-working) day
Last Day of the Year
January 23 (Monday)
August 21 (Tuesday)
November 1 (Thursday)
November 2 (Friday)
December 31 (Monday
C. Special Holiday (for all schools)
EDSA Revolution Anniversary
February 25 (Saturday)

Monday, November 21, 2011

Ang Computation

Eto daw and dapat kong bayaran
sa agency bago nila ako i-apply ng visa
at irequest ng plane ticket.


Nakakapanghina.


Sunday, November 20, 2011

Voucher

These were the vouchers issued to me
by my agency instead of 
official receipts with their 
printed business name.

I paid for the documents
that were to be filed in the
KSA embassy for my visa.

Each document costs P1,200,
I passed 6 documents.




Friday, November 11, 2011

Poor Patient Compliance

Went in late to work
and found my friend in a disheveled state.
She had been on, straight for 2 shifts.
11pm-7am and 7am-3pm.

Yesterday we had zero patients,
today I found 4 toxic patients.

Bed 1 was the worst,
apparently she came in
with her baby probably dangling
from her uterus.

She was already full effaced and dilated
meaning she is crowning
and the baby would pop out in 
one miserable 'push'
(isang bahing na lang lalabas na yung bata)

But she came in at the lying-in 
for all the wrong reasons.
We have no resident doctors on duty.
Only midwives and nurses
attend to our patients.

This was her 7th baby,
she was already 44 years old,
her last delivery was already complicated,
she only had one prenatal 
consultation at her health center,
no ultrasound records,
plus she is a chain smoker
(all throughout her pregnancy).

All the high risk factors were there!

This was a patient
who had a death wish.

She was even caught lying,
when asked how her last delivery went,
she said she had no complications.

When her husband arrived,
he told the staff that she almost 
died during her last delivery.

If I was on duty,
I would have asked them
to find a priest
to give her the last rites
so as to truly scare them.

Ang sarap pukpukin!

When I scanned her
prenatal pink card records,
she still had the referral slips
for her lab works,
meaning she did not comply!

The usual excuse!

"Wala kaming pera!"

My friend told them - 
"Yun na nga ho e nag-anak pa po kayo.
Libre po ang family planning 
sa health center."

An ultrasound scan is worth
around P300 while
feeding another child 
would definitely cost more.

The last straw was when she admitted
she was smoking a few hours
prior to her admission -
she was already smoking
when she was in the early
stages of her labor!

Ang sarap sakalin!
Grabe!

No concern for her welfare
nor her unborn child!
Walang kwentang ina!

When her placenta came out
instead of the usual
one big mass of human organ,
it came out in pieces.

Her placenta's tissue integrity
was already compromised
from the beginning.

Not all the placental fragments came out
some adhered to her uterus
which made her bleed.

The institution has no resident doctors
on duty just on call.
My friend was not able to get
hold of any of the 5 doctors
save for one.

I could just imagine what my friend went through,
that situation was a nightmare.

Good thing the doctor was
able to relay her orders over the phone
in the wee hours of the morning.

The patient was technically in shock,
her BP was around 60/40 mmHg.
My friend hooked a double line
and a volume expander.
She managed her patient well
and I commend her
she saved this woman's life
from her own stupidity.

Her stubbornness and non-compliance
to health related advice put
her life as well as her baby's
in jeopardy as well
as the license of my friend.

Lagi na lang walang pera ang rason,
madali yan huwag kang bumili ng pangbisyo
at magipon ka kahit lima-limang piso
araw-araw para sa panganganak.

Hindi emergency ang pagbubuntis,
siyam na buwan ito.

Imagine ang city namin na walang income,
nililibre pa sila sa gastusin ng pangangak,
libre ang gamit at serbisyo.

Compliance na nga lang ang hinihingi,
na dumating sa appointed dates
ng prenatal check-up
at mapalaboratoryo ng libre,
hindi pa din nagawa.

Aba e kung wala ka din naman palang
concern sa pangangatawan mo
at pagbubuntis e di sana
hindi na lang siya nag-anak.

Dapat talaga ipasa na yang
RH Bill para maliwanagan
ang mga mangmang.
(sorry sa harsh word pero totoo ito)

Hindi na nga sila nakapag-aral
sa dami nila hindi din nila mapapag-aral ang anak nila.
Obligasyon ng bawat magulang na magbigay
ng maayos na kalidad ng buhay at edukasyon
sa mga anak nila hindi yung
pagtatrabahuin sila at gawing gatasan
kasi tamad na sila magtrabaho.

Sus! Ad misericordiam lagi,
paawa effect!

Hindi sa lahat ng oras maisasalba
ng awa at ng Dios ang buhay mo.
Kailangan kumilos ka rin bilang tao.


Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Visa




Received a delayed text and a call
today from the agency.

We already have our visas,
and we are to report for yet
another medical exam.

Gastos and more gastos
as we are to pay for the
processing fees and the
exorbitant fees probably
carefully mislabeled by our agency.

I was in shock.

I am now 30,
starting another chapter of my life.

I cried.

I fear for my future.

 I will be far away from
my comfort zone,
miles away from anybody
I really trust.

This is the time to 
be brave
and just to generally tough it up.

I am a fluffy marshmallow
underneath my imposing exterior.

Be brave! 

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Duty Woes

I am back on duty,
volunteering again.....

Our team saved a baby today,
the mom was fully dilated/effaced,
she was at this painful state for 8 hours.

We already called everybody,
even our off duty nurse,
even the nurse who was transferred 
to the health center.
(He was and is still the best nurse)
He saved the day!
The baby popped out
lifeless but the team revived her!

Yey!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

RLE

Went back to CCH
were I learned most of my OB experience.
Nice to be back,
although some were really uncomfortable seeing me.
I just want to refresh my skills,
I am still a volunteer,
although my chief nurse asked me
to pass my resume to the acting
city health officer,
I told her the truth that I was processing
my application for Al Kharj Military Hospital.
I got to administer medication through IM
once again, cannot wait to work in the DR again.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Applying

Work Abroad - Overseas Jobs for the Filipinos
http://www.workabroad.ph/
March 2011
Already had my resume posted at the workabroad site.
I was updating my profile and trying my luck
I initially began scanning nursing ads bound for KSA.
I clicked every single one that had 
OB/DR/GYNE/Labor tags in it.
I also uploaded my resume and 
left everything to fate.


I also had a daily subscription to jobstreet
And that is where Arjoy's found my resume methinks.
http://www.jobstreet.com.ph/
All my experience were volunteering work.
Although I was not compensated with a salary.
Sometimes they gave me pang-merienda.

I resigned ahem, AWOLed myself
(I was not an employee, I was a volunteer)
after 2 years of waiting for:
1. waiting for the lying-in to 
become a secondary hospital
2. being bypassed by volunteers who have 
'connections' to the mayor
3. laboring for years and still no news 
about them hiring me even if they told me 
I was the best candidate.
4. better opportunities
5. personal problems/issues

In the end I got tired of the government.
Truly not everything is equal.
It was unfair for people like me who 
worked hard and expected
that our exemplary performance 
would put in a 'good word'
for a possible placement in the 
government bureaucracy.

Connections, nepotism and corruption rules.
Top to bottom, nobody is spared.
I want a better future.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Aargh!

Here it is again,
just because I did a few nice things,
that does not grant them the right to manipulate
me to do more.

I logged in at my volunteer work early today
and everything was just disheveled - a disaster area.
I had to resort to picking up the garbage myself
and asking others to help me tidy the room, straighten out
the chairs and table because the students were already there.

Days before, they also asked me to prepare the handouts and
paraphernalia we were going to use.
I packed  and labelled 2 boxes worth of equipment.
One of the instructors even commented, why are you even doing
that, you are just an 'insert',( in short a 'temp') its not really
your responsibility.

Weeks before that I volunteered to create an 
MS Office automated form to make the filing of grades
easier for the other to fill in.
I volunteered to do that so whether they thank me or not 
I really could care less.

And now the 'boss' wants me to search for a laptop
 at this time of the night?
Its 9pm?! 
What the hell?!
Nobody in their right mind would lend me one.
Everybody would be on facebook.

I would rather do a white board presentation.
Really! I am no miracle worker.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

i hate you

so many things tick me off lately,


  • work pressure

("when are we going to get our salary
from that school doing their completion"
asks one of them)
they nag me all the time,
its not like they have to supervise
the students or anything,
i make the exams and lectures.
they only see them for brief periods.

sheesh money drives people nuts.

  • a-hole workmates

those who pretend they are
actually doing anything
but in actuality are just standing around
looking dumb and pretending to be deaf.

oh wait, they are actually dumb.

  • more a-hole workmates

those who pretend they know
everything and consistently get
everything wrong as well, plus
they behave like mimics.
once you are done with something
they do the same procedure again
(they do it to impress the higher ups
to no avail)

you will have your day soon,
mimicry will get you nowhere.

  • dumbfucks who stare

pinoys are so guilty of this,
stop staring, its not polite.
would you like me to stare
at your ugly face for eternity?
you do not want anybody nosing around
your particulars right?
learn proxemics.

burn in hell you impolite dumbfucks!

  • people who get cosy and touchy-touchy

again, stop feeling up people,
i for one do not want to be touched.
i hate you maniacs for trying
and for all other idiots who feel
like they are closer to me than my mom is.

i wish your hands gangrene!

  • people who bring rascal kids to the mall.

leave the pests at home,
nobody want to see a drama unfolding when
they are trying to shop.
if you can't discipline your kids leave them at home,
don't spoil everybody else's day just because
your kid does a mega tantrum.
also, stop believing that all babies and kids
are cute, they are not, some are dressed like
little whores served to pedos, some are just
plain fucking ugly.

some of us want to enjoy our weekend breaks in
'relative' peace, avoid making a scene and teach your
kids to be well-behaved and just because its your spawn
it doesnt mean that they are cute,
ive seen dog turds cuter than some of these kids.

  • i hate everyone

because i am in a foul mood,
i am surrounded by idiots - incompetent and inept
i hate you all.


Thursday, February 11, 2010

Blessings

oh god, i did a really bad thing today.

the new "casual" midwife,
implanted by the mayor
decided to celebrate her first salary
by cooking kare-kare for everybody.

and because, for the life of me,
i cannot really swallow all the bullshit
that she is putting out and because
of my stupid pride and because i know
i should have had her coveted "item"
as a paid government employee,

i walked out and went home.

i made excuses that i did not eat
that particular viand and claimed that
i am off meat products but really...

di ko masikmura ang pagpapakain niya
bilang simbulo ng tagumpay niya.

i knew that if i ate her kare, it would be
like acknowledging that yes i am a puny
pawn - kinain ang sarili niyang pride.

kahit magutom ako dun
at least di ko kinain principles ko.

if kahit konting katiting na delikadesa at goodness
may natitira pa sa corrupt na gobyernong ito
please lord show it to me...

when i came back,
everybody sensed it,
they kept on asking me
bakit di ako kumain,

i was an automaton on replay
"di po ako nakain ng karne
at di po ako nakain ng kare unless luto
ng lola ko na unfortunately ay deads na"

but we all knew why...

and then my chief nurse told me
"hayaan mo anak pag nanalo si
*insert mayor's name here*
ako mismo magbaback-up sayo
at ipapalipat ko sila"

i almost cried
kunyari nagbabasa ako ng diyaryo
at ngumingiti pero di ko na
talaga mabasa yung nakasulat
dahil pinipigilan kong umiyak.

i deserve it,
volunteer for 2 years,
most recommended and trusted,
and then dahil lang sa pulitika
wala na...

i went home, changed clothes,
went to the post office to drop
some mail and while riding the jeep
i saw this boy na may cerebral palsy.

tumigil yung dyip sa kanto kung saan
siya nakatayo at binigyan siya ng driver ng barya.
i recognized him kasi, we gave him some food
the past month kasi sabi nung isa na mabait siya
at hindi makulit kung manglimos di tulad nung
mga pesteng mini-lupin na mga bata sa kalsada.

going back...
natandaan ko siya kasi nakain kami
dati ng merienda sa mini stop
at dahil transparent ang windows
nagpeople watching kami,
nakita ko siya na hirap na kumikilos,

tumabi siya sa mga trisikel driver,
nilabas yung mumurahing mga hopia na
baon niya at inalok lahat yung nakatambay.

sobrang natunaw ako sa ginawa
niya kasi mas kailangan niya yung food
tapos inalok pa sa iba so i decided
to buy some kariman for him
and asked my kasama to give it to him
kasi baka mailang sa kulay ko.

tapos eto ulit nakita ko siya sa kanto,
kung abutan siya ok lang,
kung wala kang barya ok lang din.

yung inabot ng jeepney driver
sa kaniya nilagay niya agad sa maliit na pouch
and he gave everybody this smile
na alam mong sincere.

it took me all my strength to stop
bawling and crying my eyes out
on the jeepney.

putang-ina!
who am i to complain?!!!!
this boy has to live with cerebral palsy
all his life, he cant go to a normal
school, cant move freely as other kids,
he gets teased for being different,
malamang hindi pa nga siya napasok sa school
tapos eto ako reklamo ng reklamo,
napakawala kong kwenta.

pagkatapak ko sa bahay,
umiyak ako.
inayakan ko yung bata pati
yung katangahan kong magreklamo
pati na rin yung frustration ko sa buhay.

God bless that kid and keep him safe.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Mad & mad

I am mad - fuming mad
and i am mad - crazy mad.

I now have lost all
my dedication and passion to work.

It seems that the primary level
institution where i volunteer, it being
a microcosm representative of the
nation and its citizens as well,
has proven itself riddled with
all the evil traits of Filipinos.

nepotism

corruption

padrino system

goons, guns, and gold.

politics.

do you know what i feel?
every time i step into the building...
its as if my chest just got hit
by a monster truck and buried
under a mountain of boulders
and rubble.

the death of my enthusiasm...
i still care for the patients with a smile
i still give them my best,
i do not let workplace politics affect the
quality of my service towards my patients.

but i cant stand it anymore,
i am not happy.

just let me rant...
it will all go away soon.
my mind and my soul has begun
the process of numbing yet again.

is there no justice in this nation anymore?
bakit pa ba ako nag-aral ng maigi
kung di din pala ako makakakuha ng trabaho.
leche!
sana nag-invest na lang ako
sa pagpapa-lipo at make-up lessons
at baka may napala pa ako.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Sabbatical

I am taking an unofficial
sabbatical from work.
It was unplanned, I
did not even ask for permission,
I just disappeared.

They are not paying me anyway,
I volunteer my services.
I even waste my allowance
at the institution at times.

I do get compensated in
trickles and foodstuff
but really nothing compares to a salary
especially when the whole world
is going into a financial depression.

So I just woke up and said
Fuck it! I wanna stay in bed
and download pirated stuff.
And that's what exactly I did.

I need a break from the
routine and stress;
it seems to me that the paid people
are doing less and less of
their responsibilities
and have come to rely on
us volunteers so much that
they can't accomplish stuff
by themselves on a simple work day.

Aside from that
our community nearly burned down.
The other week, i was shocked to find
my uncle on my door telling me
that there was a fire nearby and not
to get anxious.

Unfortunately that made me more anxious.
As usual i was sleeping, I wanted to slap
myself silly for taking naps on unholy hours
and for that I might have been barbecued to
death with my hamster.

Lady luck smiled on me
because the fire was controlled
by a barrage of firemen from
all over Cavite and Manila.

Yep, it was that bad, our
very own firetruck lasted only
a few minutes before running out of water.

It was chaos!
People were congregating on
the fire vicinity to ogle and
you know - steal stuff.

I also managed to pack my
garbage of belongings into several packs
(up to now they are still packed)

It seems that the fire was caused
by candles.
Fucking candles? At 1pm?
Noontime when the sun was blazing?
Who the hell wanted candles
when the sun was blinding?

Those a-hole drug addicts,
that's why. They should have burned
as well.
The community that was affected
were mostly shanty houses, homes
made of cardboard, rooftops and
what nots.

And now, my hoarded garbage stuff
are being recycled elsewhere.
I am giving some of my stuff away.

Less clutter in my life
and somehow I will be able to
see where I really am.
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